we went to seagrove beach again for our annual staff conference, and it was so fun! last year asher was just a couple of months old and getting down on the beach was more of an ordeal than it was … Continue reading
who reads this thing? ha! the couple of you that do, hey thanks!
Scott and I are in quite a transitional place right now! We are leaving Tallahassee after being here for nine years. We came here when we were just babies! When I think about the time we’ve spent in Tallahassee and then think of leaving it, tears well up in my eyes. The memories that Scott and I have made here are countless and invaluable. This will always be where Asher was born, where we lived when we started ministry, where we brought Asher home from the hospital, where we grew and where we struggled. This is our home. I feel settled here. When we come back from being out of town and we get on mahan from I-10 I feel rested and ready to be in my home. we love this city. we love the ministry of FSU Cru. Without it we may not be married, we may not be walking with the Lord and we may not be in ministry. so much of our growth as adults has happened in Tallahassee and it will forever be a place that we treasure and love. We are leaving pieces of ourselves scattered throughout this small cozy city.
so what’s next? for the past 3 years we’ve entertained the idea of doing a STINT. doing ministry overseas has always been on our radar and is something that both of us feel called to. we tried a couple of different times to go to Salerno, Italy and for several reasons it never worked out. Fast forward to about 6 months ago, we got a call from some friends about their plans to stint in Paris. We thought “oh, how fun for you.” Then we thought “wait, what about us?” SO, in November we started conversations with our regional leadership about joining this stellar team of staff going to Paris. In December, during Christmas break we got a call saying we had the green light from both French and SE regional leadership to come to Paris on Stint starting this September!
Is this real life?? The Lord couldn’t have made it more clear that this was what he had for us. The process it took for us to make this decision couldn’t have been made without him clearly answering our prayers and causing all of the pieces of the puzzle to come together so effortlessly. We couldn’t have manufactured it if we tried. He who calls you is faithful and HE WILL DO IT.
i’d be lying if i said that there aren’t many days where the fear of moving overseas completely overwhelms and engulfs me. as a naturally anxious person, i can get caught up in the “what ifs” and completely lose sight of who the Lord is and what he’s called us to. there aren’t many instances in my walk with the Lord that I can remember him being very very clear over, but with this he was. Without the assurance of his faithfulness in our lives and the clarity both Scott and I have, this move would be so much harder and shakier for me. i know that until we leave, I will experience many days of uncertainty. Leaving family who love us and Asher so much, going to a city where I can’t speak the language (yet,) downsizing our lives, majorly, giving up the comforts and conveniences of my american way of life and leaving so many close friendships. these are a few of the “sacrifices” we are leaving behind. Honestly, this is a big reason why we are going. It’s really easy for us as “professional christians” to lose sight of Jesus. To live out our day to day life without him and just go into auto-pilot. Scott and I want nothing more than to experience him in new and deeper ways. I know that prayer will come with hardship but in a weird and twisted way we are ready for that. We are desperate for him to change us and make us more like him. We want Paris to be life altering. So, I am laying down at his feet and saying OK, take these things that I hold on so tightly to. Do with them what you will. I will trust you with my life, my sons life and my family. Jesus is so big enough to meet me in those terrified and scary moments. I am so thankful that he hears these cries, that he knows what I am experiencing and that he has been preparing the way and going before us even before we knew that we would be going to Paris. I am scared to go, I want to back pedal so often, but he gently reminds me that Paris is going to change me. It’s going to make me rely on him in ways I’ve never had to, make me look at him deeper, make me see that things here I thought I “needed” could never compare to all that he can provide me.
A little background on Paris:
There are 13 Universities in the city limits of Paris with over 625,000 college and 0.5% of them claim any sort of faith, making them an actual unreached people group according to Joshua Project. UNREAL. So much hopelessness. We are going to Paris to be a light to the City of Lights. Europe in general is so dark and lost, and Paris is no exception. In a city of such luxury and indulgence that leads to death people are longing for authenticity and love. We are SO excited to bring the gospel to the college students in Paris.
So, right now we are raising support. We are 75% of the way there (THANK YOU LORD!) and are taking the whole summer to continue raising. We couldn’t feel more excited and confident to walk into this next phase in our lives. We will grieve leaving Tallahassee, but we can’t wait to lean on the Lord and rely on him for new experiences, new lifestyle and make him all we need!!
Any questions about this just ask!
gosh, if i could bottle up time i’d be a millionaire and also a happy momma. i hate that these days seem so fast! asher is so little for such a short time and it KILLS me. i love love love this stage that he’s in. he is cracking us up day and night and i just love him for his hilarious personality. he’s a wild man through and through. pounding his fist on the table, moving the coffee table just to move it, bursting through doors and just being crazy. often scott and i just call him our crazy man. it’s the most accurate thing we can come up with honestly.
we’ve been in and out of tallahassee these last few weeks with support trips here and there. luckily asher is an easy traveler and pretty flexible with his schedule. poor guy got all of his molars in last week while we were in Birmingham and it was THE WORST WEEK OF OUR LIVES. complete misery is how i would describe our days. no sleep, only eating applesauce, sores in and out of his mouth, constant crying, no consoling. a real party let me tell you. no orajel or tylenol could tame the beast. i wouldn’t wish a teething child on my worst enemy. thank goodness he’s past it and back to his normal self. it’s pretty sad to see your baby so miserable and especially to see his little personality fade into the background while he’s so pitiful. makes me thankful that he’s healthy!
some fun things he’s doing:
yelling “blahhhh” and sticking his tongue out at us
tries to “scare” us
loves YOGURT- can’t get it in his mouth fast enough. thanks blueberry chobani, you’ve created a monster.
loves loves maggie. calls her name all day in a very high pitched sweet tone.
loves his friend audrey. they fight like brother and sister but it’s pretty hilarious.
super curious and observant.
loves to play with anything that he isn’t supposed to.
loves to drink from out water bottles.
loves to brush his teeth.
hates books. perfect.
not a fan of shoes.
dances and put his arm out and says “yeah yeah yeah” – freakin adorable.
keepin those baby blue eyes.
likes to yell at random
he’s an awesome kid! i can’t stop kissing him all day and i’m constantly amazed at how much i love him and how amazing he is. i am so thankful he’s mine!
last year at this time i was really thankful that february was a short month. that sooner rather than later i would be meeting my sweet boy for the first time. my due date was the 26th. just 20 short days from the day that God ordained my boy to enter this crazy world. he had other plans though. 8 days later actually seemed like a better time to greet us.
this year, i am not so glad that february is a short month. i want to savor and squeeze as much out of these last days before my baby turns 1! i honestly cannot believe that one whole year has almost passed. it’s so true when they say “blink and they’ll be all grown up.” Well, can I just stop blinking? i love this boy so so very much. he is so busy, silly, funny and sweet. he’s got his favorite things; books, drumsticks, maggies water bowl, burp rags, and his train. he loves going on jogs with us, going to the park and getting in the swing and finding all the things in the house that are a “no-no.”
when we lay him down to sleep he lays his head on our shoulder and it’s really just the best. i get those few minutes to rock and snuggle him before i leave him to sleep. he loves going on errands and being out and about. he really is a great baby. i love having him with me and taking him places. he’s a fun little man to be with.
parenting has shown me more of my need for Jesus than anything else, ever. i imagine that it’ll continue to do that as Asher gets older, we move into more discipline and even have more kids at some point. i know and see that i cannot do this without him. i acknowledge that apart from him i can’t parent Asher well. i can’t discipline him out of love or grace. i can’t make wise decisions without the holy spirit. between getting irritated, mad, impatient, annoyed and fearful at some point during the day i can see how selfish i can be! i am so thankful for the grace the covers all of that. my greatest hope and prayer for Asher is that he sees home as a safe place where he can see and experience the gospel. where he can be himself and feel loved and cared for. i want to keep him close. i know that can seem controlling but it’s actually a command!
“and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” deut. 6:6-7
we want to be faithful and give Asher clear guidance and direction. we want him to know who his source of discipline comes from. this is such a challenge! i need jesus for this!
sweet boy, these past 11 months have been the best, really. you are a gift and you are treasured. i am going to get you up from your nap and kiss you all over. i love you, tiny man.
does your pastor just talk about your sin, or does he talk about his sin too? i thought about this yesterday morning as our pastor was talking about how much he struggles with being self focused. he yelled “and i’m in ministry and i wrestle with this!”
since having asher, i’ve never felt more sinful. more self focused. i am selfish, i want my own time, i want to make decisions that best benefit me and my needs and i want what i want now. our hearts are so dark, aren’t they? sometimes i can be so foolish and think i’m doing so well. i can think “i’ve got this” or “i’m really growing” and then i get slapped in the face with this reality that tells me no, in fact you’re really bad at this. and you always will be. stop trying so hard.
jesus. grace. forgiveness.
that’s what i need to focus on. not me. not my needs, my wants, my agenda.
shift your eyes, katie. shift them from yourself to him. he is where freedom is. he is where all the acceptance you think you need from others is. he is where all the love and joy you could ever want to experience is.
you’re sinful. you’re broken. you need a savior. you can’t do one single thing to earn his favor. his death on the cross paid for your every mistake.
being a parent can really teach you to either hide your junk or expose it. i want to expose it but it’s scary. it’s a lot. thankfully he died for every single short coming.
i want to breath that in. to open my eyes and to absorb the fresh and life giving words that i am forgiven, i am loved and i am accepted.
all glory, honor praise goes to you jesus. may you be made much of.
you are now 10 months old. just two months shy of being one year old. when i think of it like that, tears well up in my eyes. how can you already be so close to 1? the best and worst part of being a parent is watching your baby grow. i want you to stay this age forever, but i also get so excited when you learn something new. it’s a catch 22 for sure. you are getting more and more active. i can hardly keep up with you sometimes. i love how adventurous you are. not much scares you, and that scares me haha. i’m not a risk taker, so maybe you’ll be enough of one for the both of us. you are hilarious. i find myself laughing at you a lot. you make the craziest faces and do the funniest things that make me laugh so hard my sides hurt.
10 things about you right now:
you love your drumstick that came in your drum full of instruments. you like to bang anything and everything with it, including our heads. ouch.
you love to stand. you are so fast at pulling yourself up on things it’s absurd. i blink and you’re up.
you are not a slow mover in general. you are fast fast fast.
you love to eat what your daddy and i are eating. you think we should all share everything. nice concept but can’t always happen.
you love to nurse. i think weaning will be challenging.
you are make this crazy face where your eyes get really big, you wave your hands and make this noise. it’s hard to explain, but we love it. we try to do things that will cause you to do it.
you still love being outside and taking walks. sometimes when we need you to calm down we strap you in and go for a jog or walk around the neighborhood. you sit still and you barely make a peep.
you thrive on being out and about. you get stir crazy inside the house. me too, buddy, me too.
your eyes are staying blue, and your hair is staying blonde.
you eat best when you’re planted in your high chair and hanging out.
you love water. you like to drink it and play in it. you love baths too, of course.
ok that’s 11 but you’re full of fun things. you are such a delight. even on my most tired of days, you give me life. energy, laughter and joy. i love you, buddy. you are such a gift and you are treasured. your daddy and i love you so much.
here’s a little catch all post of what we’ve been up to these last couple of weeks. i just uploaded almost 800 photos onto my computer and i forced myself to choose just a few from each little cluster of events.
last week we went to our fall planning retreat in Destin, just a couple hours west of us. it was a lot of fun, super relaxing and the house we rented was awesome. beach houses in the off season are almost laughably cheap. splitting between 12 people and the price being way down, it’s cheaper than a hotel and obviously tons more space!
this is asher’s girlfriend, audrey. they really love each other. they get excited to be together, and Asher usually tries to attack her, so all of us try to play defense on behalf of sweet audrey.
mmm, love that face.
totally into opening and closing doors these days. he thinks it’s so awesome.
opening his very first christmas present!
i drew this little chalk drawing and made him sit in front of it. thankfully scott’s a total sport and helps me get his attention.
Christmas lights at Dorothy B. Oven! So fun and Asher loved the lights. heck we loved the lights.
i love my family
Asher and Audrey in the sleigh
seriously? so so cute.
in light of the tragedy in Connecticut on Friday, i feel even more grateful for Scott and Asher. I cannot imagine what the parents of the 20 children who were killed are experiencing right now. such a senseless and horrible act and i haven’t been able to fully function since seeing it pop up in my twitter feed. i followed the link and was completely undone. all i know is that God is sovereign. i myself do not know why he allows things like this to happen and i don’t think i ever will. i can only go to his word and trust in what it says about who he is. in the end, he wins the battle. all i can think is that satan knows he’s lost and will stop at nothing to kill, steal and destroy. jesus, comfort each parent, friend, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, neighbor, teacher, first responder, police officer, fireman. give them rest. provide peace that passes all understanding. may they feel your presence tangibly in such a desperately vulnerable and lost time in their lives. may they experience hope someway, somehow. carry them, love them and provide for their needs.
one of my favorite things about opening up the boxes of our christmas decorations is looking at our ornaments. there are stories and memories behind so many of them and i love that. i value history and i love that we have so many special ones and even more we get a chance every year to hang them up and enjoy them. this is just a few of the things we’ve put up around the living room this year. we are in the middle of baby proofing so we tried to keep breakables high up and to a minimum. we won’t be here for too much of December so i didn’t go too crazy. i tried to make it festive and warm and i think i accomplished that. i love this time of year!
big boy drinking from a sippy cup!
teething forces him to gnaw on pretty much anything, including the coffee table.
scott loves “woodland creatures” we have a whole family of animals on our tree
my parents gave my sister and I matching Barbie ornaments each year from their holiday collection. I really love them.
Teddy the Bear. He comes with this cute red wagon and a little story. My sister and I each have one & got them as gifts from our Aunt 20 years ago. No clue we’ve had them that long but that’s what Mom says!
* you are CRAWLING. all over the place. there’s no stopping you.
* you are pulling up on everything, including but limited to the coffee table, doors, my pants, your jumpee, the couch.
* you are giving real kisses when we ask for them. open mouthed, but still, kisses nonetheless.
* you love watching maggie and you laugh at her a lot.
* you love smoothies and eating in general
* you think that whatever we are eating you should be able to eat also.
* you love walks outside.
* you like being out and about. if we can go for an errand it really helps you nap and calm down.
* you are sleeping through the night still.
asher, you are the light of our lives. we love you so much, buddy. 9 months with you seems like forever yet i feel as though i just met you for the first time. as each day passes i am more thankful for you. you’ve been out exploring the world as long as you were tucked safely inside of me. hard to believe. can’t wait to see what you learn next. i love you sweet boy. happy 9 months!