does your pastor just talk about your sin, or does he talk about his sin too? i thought about this yesterday morning as our pastor was talking about how much he struggles with being self focused. he yelled “and i’m in ministry and i wrestle with this!”

since having asher, i’ve never felt more sinful. more self focused. i am selfish, i want my own time, i want to make decisions that best benefit me and my needs and i want what i want now. our hearts are so dark, aren’t they? sometimes i can be so foolish and think i’m doing so well. i can think “i’ve got this” or “i’m really growing” and then i get slapped in the face with this reality that tells me no, in fact you’re really bad at this. and you always will be. stop trying so hard.

jesus. grace. forgiveness.

that’s what i need to focus on. not me. not my needs, my wants, my agenda.

gross. 

shift your eyes, katie. shift them from yourself to him. he is where freedom is. he is where all the acceptance you think you need from others is. he is where all the love and joy you could ever want to experience is.

you’re sinful. you’re broken. you need a savior. you can’t do one single thing to earn his favor. his death on the cross paid for your every mistake.

being a parent can really teach you to either hide your junk or expose it. i want to expose it but it’s scary. it’s a lot. thankfully he died for every single short coming.

i want to breath that in. to open my eyes and to absorb the fresh and life giving words that i am forgiven, i am loved and i am accepted.

all glory, honor praise goes to you jesus. may you be made much of.

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